Nov 18, 2009

Shira Chadasha/Koleich: "Prayer for Women Murdered by their Spouses"



Prayer for Women Murdered by their Spouses

The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women is marked on November 25th.   In Shira Hadisha, as in many shuls, this day is marked on an adjacent Shabbat by saying "A prayer for the women of Israel that were murdered by their spouses", following the Prayer for the Welfare of the State of Israel. This prayer was composed by Shira Chadasha member, Yael Levine. The prayer can be found below, and an article about it can be found in the following link: http://www.kolech.com/show.asp?id=24125.




נוסח התְּפִלָּה עַל בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁנִּרְצְחוּ בִידֵי בְּנֵי זוּגָן

יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ ה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, אֱלֹהֵי אַבְרָהָם יִצְחָק וְיַעֲקֹב שָׂרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה, אֲשֶׁר בְּיָדְךָ נֶפֶשׁ כָּל-חָי וְרוּחַ כָּל-בְּשַׂר-אִישׁ - הֱיֵה-נָא קָרוֹב לְשַׁוְעָתֵנוּ אֲשֶׁר אֲנַחְנוּ מַפִּילִים תַּחֲנוּנֵינוּ לְפָנֶיךָ, צוּר כָּל הָעוֹלָמִים, עַל כָּל הַנָּשִׁים אֲשֶׁר בְּכֹחַ הַזְּרוֹעַ נִרְצְחוּ בִידֵי בְּנֵי זוּגָן שֶׁקָּמוּ עֲלֵיהֶן לְהָרְגָן נָפֶשׁ.

אֱלֹהִים, אַל-דֳּמִי לָךְ, אַל-תֶּחֱרַשׁ וְאַל-תִּשְׁקֹט אֵל. בַּטֵּל נֶגַע זֶה שֶׁפָּשָׂה בְקִרְבֵּנוּ, וְקַלְקֵל מַחֲשֶׁבֶת הַזּוֹמְמִים לַהֲרֹג אֶת בְּנוֹת זוּגָם, וִיקֻיַּם בָּהֶם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב: "עֻצוּ עֵצָה וְתֻפָר, דַּבְּרוּ דָבָר וְלֹא יָקוּם, כִּי עִמָּנוּ אֵל" [ישעיה ח, י]. כִּי אֵין לְךָ מַעְצוֹר לְהוֹשִׁיעַ בְּרַב אוֹ בִמְעָט. הַטּוֹב, כִּי לֹא כָלוּ רַחֲמֶיךָ, וְהַמְרַחֵם, כִּי לֹא תַמּוּ חֲסָדֶיךָ.

 פְּקָד-נָא אֶת זִכְרָן שֶׁל בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר נִרְצְחוּ בִידֵי בְּנֵי זוּגָן בְּכָל עֵת וְעֵת וּבְכָל אֲתָר וַאֲתָר, וְתֵן לָהֶן יָד וְשֵׁם טוֹב בְּבֵיתְךָ וּבְחוֹמוֹתֶיךָ.

 מֶלֶךְ שֶׁהַשָּׁלוֹם שֶׁלּוֹ, שִׂים שָׁלוֹם בֵּין כָּל בְּנֵי עַמֶּךָ, וְתַמְשִׁיךְ שָׁלוֹם בֵּין כָּל בְּרִיּוֹתֶיךָ, וּפְרֹשׁ עָלֵינוּ סֻכַּת שְׁלוֹמֶךָ, וּתְזַכֵּנוּ שֶׁנִּהְיֶה מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן, אוֹהֲבֵי שָׁלוֹם וְרוֹדְפֵי שָׁלוֹם.

 הַבּוֹחֵר בִּתְפִלַּת עֲבָדָיו, מַלֵּא מִשְׁאֲלוֹת לִבֵּנוּ לְטוֹבָה. קַבֵּל-נָא אֶת צָקוּן לַחֲשֵׁנוּ וְתֵעָתֵר לָנוּ כְּבַקָּשָׁתֵנוּ, וְנָא אַל-תְּשִׁיבֵנוּ רֵיקָם מִלְּפָנֶיךָ, כִּי אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלַּת עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּרַחֲמִים. בָּרוּךְ שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה.

©כל הזכויות שמורות ליעל לוין

ד"ר יעל לוין,

---
Rabbi Menachem Creditor
-- www.netivotshalom.org
-- www.shefanetwork.org
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Rabbi David Golinkin: WHAT ARE THE ATTRIBUTES OF A GOOD CANTOR?

What are the Attributes of a Good Cantor?

Rabbi Prof. David Golinkin

In  memory
of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach z"l
on his 15th yahrzeit

Question:
When choosing a cantor, whether a professional or simply a member of the congregation, what are the most important attributes which one should look for?

 Responsum:

 I) The Primary Sources

A professional Cantor is called a hazzan in modern Hebrew. In this responsum, we shall use the term shliah tzibbur ("emissary of the congregation") which refers to both a professional hazzan and a layperson who chants the services.

There are three primary sources which emphasize three different attributes of a shliah tzibbur: personal piety, a good voice, and proper pronunciation of the Hebrew prayers.

1) The Eleven Attributes of a Shliah Tzibbur

The Mishnah in Ta'anit 2:2 describes the special prayer service held on public fast days to avert a drought:

When they stand up to pray, they place [as reader] before the ark an elder and ragil [one who is conversant with the prayers], who has children and whose house is empty [of food] so that his heart should be full [of intent] during the prayer.

A baraita (ca. 2nd century c.e.) found in Ta'anit 16a adds more details:

Our Rabbis have taught: When they stand up to pray, even though there is among them an elder and a scholar, they only allow a ragil to descend before the ark. Rabbi Judah said: they send up one who is burdened with children and no way to feed them, who has painstaking labor in the field and whose house is empty, pirko na'eh [see below], who is humble and acceptable to the people, who knows how to chant and has a pleasant voice, who is well-versed in Torah, Prophets and Writings, and midrash, halakhot and aggadot, and in all of the blessings.

 The Talmud then comments (ibid. 16b):

"Burdened with children" and "his house is empty" are the same!? Rav Hisda said: "his house is empty" means empty of sin.
Abaye said: [Pirko Na'eh] means that he did not have a bad reputation in his youth.
"My heritage has become unto Me as a lion in the forest; she has uttered her voice against Me; Therefore have I hated her" (Jeremiah 12:8). Said Mar Zutra bar Tuvia in the name of Rav, and some say Rabbi Hama in the name of Rabbi Elazar: This is a shliah tzibbur who descends before the ark who is not worthy.

 Maimonides codified the baraita as explained by the Talmud (Hilkhot Ta'aniot 4:4), but in a different order:

Who is qualified to pray on these [public] fast days? A man who is used to praying; and used to reading Torah, Prophets and Writings; and who has many children and no way to feed them; and has painstaking labor in the field, and he should have no sinners among his children and householders and relatives, but his home should be empty of sin; and not have a bad reputation in his youth; humble; acceptable to the people; he knows how to chant and a pleasant voice. If he was an elder with all of those attributes - this is excellent; if he is not an elder, since he has all these attributes, he should pray.

This Talmudic passage was also codified by the Tur and Shulhan Arukh in the Laws of Fast Days (Orah Hayyim 579:1) and more briefly in the Laws of Prayer (53:4) and cf. Orah Hayyim 581:1 regarding the attributes of a shliah tzibbur for the High Holidays.

Finally, the list of attributes from Ta'anit 16a is also echoed in the famous Hineni prayer recited by Ashkenazic Cantors before Musaf on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur:

Accept my prayer as the prayer of an elder and ragil whose pirko na'eh and his beard is grown and his voice is sweet and his nature is pleasing to his fellow man.

There are three points worth stressing about these lists of attributes:

a) the Mishnah requires three attributes while the Baraita demands eleven;

b) skill in chanting and a pleasant voice are items 7 and 8 out of 11 in the Baraita, but Maimonides lists them as items 10 and 11, so he probably considered them less important;

c) it was and still is extremely difficult to find a shliah tzibbur who possesses all of these attributes!

 2)  A person with a pleasant voice must honor God with his voice

The most complete version of this midrash appears in Pesikta D'rav Kahana (Asser Te'asser, ed. Mandelbaum, p. 164; ed. Buber fol. 97a) which was edited in Eretz Yisrael in the fifth century:

a) " 'Honor God with your substance (honkha)' (Proverbs 3:9). If your voice was pleasant, declaim the Shema responsively and pass before the Ark [as shliah tzibbur for the Amidah]. Rabbi Hiyya bar Ada, the nephew of Bar Kappara, had a pleasant voice, and Bar Kappara used to say to him: my son, declaim the Shema and pass before the Ark, as it is written 'honor God with honkha' - with what he bestowed upon you - mimah anakha­shah. "

In other words, if God blessed you with a good voice, you must reciprocate by honoring God with the voice He bestowed upon you.

b) This midrash appears in an abbreviated form in Pesikta Rabbati 25 (ed. Ish Shalom, fol. 127a) and Tanhuma Re'eh, paragraph 12 = Tanhuma Buber Re'eh, paragraph 9, p. 22. It is also quoted in the Zohar, Yitro, fol. 93a and in Rashi to Proverbs 3:9.

c) It was codified by R. Tzidkiyahu Harofe (Italy, 13th century) in Shibboley Haleket, paragraph 10, ed. Buber, p. 11 = Tanya Rabbati, paragraph 3, ed. Horwitz, p. 13. It is also quoted by Rabbi Yosef Karo in the Bet Yosef to Tur Orah Hayyim 53 s.v. V'eizehu, but he did not codify it in his Shulhan Arukh (Orah Hayyim 53).

d) Sefer Hassidim, which was written or edited by R. Judah the Pious (d. 1217), also requires that a person with a good voice must sing to God:

a. "A person who has a pleasant voice, if God does not enjoy his voice, it is better that he not have come into the world. And if God enjoys his voice, of him it is said (Song of Songs 2:14): 'let me hear your voice, for your voice is pleasant...' etc. (ed. Margaliot, paragraph 768, p. 459 and cf. ed. Wistinetzky, paragraph 416, p. 124)."

b. "A person who has a pleasant voice should sing to God, and not other songs, as it is said (Psalms 33:1) 'sing oh righteous to God' and not other songs..." (ed. Margaliot, paragraph 251, p. 219).

The gist of all these passages is that a person who has a good voice has an obligation to serve as Shliah Tzibur and to sing to God. These sources do not seem interested in the other qualities of a Shliah Tzibur. Unlike Ta'anit 16a, where musical ability and voice are ranked 7th and 8th, these sources are only interested in the Shliah Tzibur's voice.

3) Correct Pronunciation of the Hebrew Prayers

The third Talmudic source is found in Megillah 24b (and cf. Yerushalmi Berakhot 2:4):

We have also learned in a baraita: One does not appoint a Shliah Tzibur from Bet She'an or Haifa or Tivon because they pronounce an aleph like an ayin and an ayin like an aleph.

This is because originally there was a clear distinction between ayin and aleph, as still pronounced by Yemenite, Moroccan and other oriental Jews. The Jews from these towns were disqualified because they couldn't distinguish between these letters. This requirement was codified by Maimonides (Hilkhot Tefilah 8:12) and by the Tur and Shulhan Arukh (Orah Hayyim 53:12) and is still emphasized by modern rabbis such as Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef (Responsa Yabia Omer, Part 6, No. 11, paragraphs 1-3).

Thus, if we were to follow the Talmud and Midrash, a Shliah Tzibur must posses all the attributes listed in Ta'anit 16a, and a good voice, and know how to pronounce the Hebrew prayers in a very precise and accurate fashion.

II) Some Rabbinic Criticism of Hazzanim ca. 1200-1900 c.e.

It is clear, however, from sources collected by Leopold Zunz, Israel Davidson and Daniel Sperber, that many medieval and modern rabbis felt that many cantors do not live up to these ideals.1

Judah Alharizi (1170-1235) penned a biting satire about a cantor who made 100 mistakes and mispronounced many Hebrew words (ed. Toporovsky, Tel-Aviv, 1952, Chapter 24 = translation by David Segal, Book of Tahkemoni, London, 2001, Chapter 24).

R. Joseph Ibn Zabara (Barcelona, ca. 1200) accuses hazzanim of being robbers, liars and adulterers and states that "hazzan" in gematria is equivalent to a "shoteh" or fool. The gematria is incorrect, but it is clear that Ibn Zabara did not like hazzanim! (Sefer Sha'ashu'im, edited by Israel Davidson, Berlin, 1925, pp. 47-48)

The poet Imanuel of Rome (1261-1328) wrote (Mahberot Imanuel, ed. Haberman, Tel Aviv, 1946-1950, p. 564):

and therefore the parable-writers say:
that all of pleasant voice have no brains.

Rabbi Binyamin Aaron Slonik (Poland, 1550-1620) criticizes Jewish communities which choose cantors who know how to stretch out the service with a pleasant voice and pretty melodies which they borrow from non-Jews and from theatres. (Responsa Masat Binyamin, No. 6)

Rabbi Yoel Sirkis (Poland, 1561-1640) attacked the hazzanim in his day for making a mistake in the wording of the Hashkivenu blessing:

This came to us from the shlihey tzibbur, who are not worthy, who are accepted in all communities because they sing in a nice voice even though they are not well-versed and they don't know the laws of prayer and the hand of the wealthy are strong against the rabbis in this matter (Bah to Tur Orah Hayyim 267).

Rabbi Abraham Gumbiner (Poland, 1637-1683) says that "the early authorities already severely condemned cantors who stretch out the words and separate one letter from another and one word from another." (Magen Avraham to Orah Hayyim 281, subparagraph 4).

Rabbi Ya'akov Yosef of Polonnoye (d. ca. 1782) attacked the "hazzanim who invalidate the prayers and stick to the art of singing, which was originally secondary to the main prayer, and now they have abandoned the main thing and grabbed the secondary". (Toledot Ya'akov Yosef, Parashat Tzav, quoted by Sperber, p. 35).

Rabbi Moshe Sofer (d. 1839) includes a strong attack against cantors in his responsa (Hatam Sofer, Orah Hayyim, No. 205), asserting that most of them are resha'im (evil).

Finally, Avraham Berliner (Germany, 1833-1915), an expert in Jewish liturgy, also faulted hazzanim in his time for mispronouncing words, for separating syllables in order to fit a tune, and for improper division of phrases in a sentence (Ketavim Nivharim, Vol. 1, Jerusalem, 1945, pp. 115-117).

It is good to know, however, that cantors did not take all of this rabbinic criticism lying down! Yoel ben Eliezer Sirkis, who was no doubt a descendant of the Bah quoted above, was a cantor in the town of Lipen, Russia. In 1724, he published a pamphlet entitled Re'ah Nihoah in which he offers a point by point refutation of the criticisms leveled against cantors by an unnamed scholar. The accuser said that cantors lacked kavanah [intent], did not understand Hebrew and were more interested in their own voices than in the prayer service. Yoel ben Eliezer refuted those accusations in a clever fashion in rhymed verses printed in both Hebrew and Yiddish. (see Kehillat Ha-kodesh: Creating the Sacred Community, JTS, New York, 1997, Figure 13).

III) Five Medieval Responsa

Polemics aside, there are at least 60 responsa on this topic written from the 8th to the 20th centuries. (Otzar Hashe'elot Uteshuvot, Vol. 1, Jerusalem, 1971, pp. 123-126).

The following five responsa were written during the period of the Geonim (500-1000 c.e.) and Rishonim (1000-1500 c.e.) and they grapple primarily with the sources presented above (Paragraph I).

1. Rav Yehudai Gaon (ca. 760 c.e.) was asked about a "shliah tzibbur who does not understand so much, but has a pleasant voice and the people like him vs. a scholar whose voice is not pleasant - which is preferable?" He replied: "The scholar is certainly better because he understands what he is saying, and the one whose voice is pleasant does not speak properly (Or Zarua, part I, paragraph 116 = Otzar Hageonim to Ta'anit, p. 27, paragraph 54).

2. One of the Geonim was asked if a shliah tzibbur who is rumored to have done bad things, can be replaced. He replied that "he should obviously be replaced. A person who appeases between the people of Israel and their Father in heaven must be a tzadik, honest, clean in his body without blemish. If not, the Sages already said in the gemara (Ta'anit 16b) "My heritage has become unto Me as a lion in the forest; she has uttered her voice against Me; Therefore have I hated her" (Jeremiah 12:8)". (Otzar Hageonim, ibid., paragraph 55 and cf. paragraphs 56-58 for other responsa)

3. Rabbi Yosef ibn Migash (Spain, 1077-1141) was asked in his responsa (No. 95) about Reuven who was a hazzan in one city and they invited him to be a hazzan in another city. He possessed most of the attributes enumerated by the Sages except that he had a bad reputation in his youth. Rabbi Yosef replied that if the rumors about his youth persisted, he can be removed, but if they are about something in the distant past and now he is not suspect and has repented, he should not be removed because of something in the past.

4. Rabbi Shlomo ben Aderet (Barcelona, 1235-1310) was asked in his responsa (Vol. I, No. 215) about a shliah tzibbur who has a good voice, but he stretches out the prayers so that people should hear his pleasant voice, and he is proud of this and rejoices in his voice. Should we protest that he should make his prayer a supplication, and how can he supplicate out of joy?

The Rashba replied that these matters follow the heart's intentions. If he is happy in his heart because he is giving praise and thanks to God through a pleasant voice and he is happy out of awe - may he be blessed [and then he quotes Ta'anit 16a], but if he intends to broadcast his voice and he is happy that the people should hear his voice and praise him, this is reprehensible and about him it is said "My heritage has become unto Me as a lion in the forest; she has uttered her voice against Me; Therefore have I hated her" (Jeremiah 12:8).

This responsum of the Rashba was codified in the Shulhan Arukh (OH 53:11)

5. Rabbeinu Asher ben Yehiel, the Rosh (Worms and Toledo, 1250-1327) was asked (Responsa Rosh 4:22) about the custom in Toledo of appointing people of lowly families as shlihey tzibbur as if it's not a worthy profession for wealthy families.

The Rosh replied that he has a different complaint about the hazzanim of Toledo, that they sing for their pleasure to hear a pleasant voice; even if the hazzan is a complete rasha (wicked person), the congregation is only concerned that he be a good singer, but God said "My heritage has become unto Me as a lion in the forest; she has uttered her voice against Me; Therefore have I hated her" (Jeremiah 12:8).

 IV) The Ideal Shliah Tzibur

There is no question that the ideal shliah tzibur combines all the qualities of Ta'anit 16a-b with a good voice and a good pronunciation of Hebrew, but it is also clear that it is very hard to find a person who actually possessses all of these attributes! This explains the frequent criticism of hazzanim by rabbis (above, paragraph II). It appears from the sources above that the rabbis have always preferred a pious, God-fearing shliah tzibur who knows Hebrew, to a shliah tzibur with a good voice who lacks these other attributes, while Jewish communities seem to have preferred a shliah tzibur with a good voice regardless of his other attributes.

We would like to conclude with two descriptions of the ideal shliah tzibur:2

1. In his book Ahavat Shalom (Vaethanan), the Kossover Rebbe says that

the shliah tzibur is the pipeline, through him pass the influences on Jews and the Jewish people... He must be filled with all sorts of the best spirituality, with Torah, prayer, good deeds, repentance, a broken heart, and by this he is always connected to He who receives the prayers. And the shliah tzibur needs to connect to the collective Jewish people reciprocally and then he mediates between the Jewish people and our Father in heaven and binds them together (quoted by Rabbi Gedalia Felder, Yesodei Yeshurun, Vol. 1, Toronto, 1954, p. 42).

2. In his book Lifnim Min Hahoma (Jerusalem, and Tel-Aviv, 1975, pp. 31-32), S.Y. Agnon tells of a holy hazzan in Jerusalem named Rabbi Avraham Hayyim, who was born in Volozhin. One Friday night Agnon was joined by a researcher who collected all sorts of tunes and songs from Jews from all over the world. (It is pretty clear that he is referring to A. Z. Idelsohn [1882-1938], the famous musicologist.) When they left the synagogue, the researcher was depressed. "I have 10,000 records of prayers and songs, but I have never in my life heard such a beautiful and holy prayer as this! I will give ten Israeli lirot in order to record one prayer from him, whichever one he wants!"

After Shabbat, Agnon went to tell Rabbi Avraham Hayyim. He lived in a dark house and he sat me down on a rickety bed and I told him that he could earn in five minutes what he earned in ten months praying three or four times a day. He replied: "I cannot". I said: "What do you mean 'I cannot'? Are you afraid that it is halakhically forbidden?" He replied: "I have no musical voice". He saw that I was puzzled. He added "When I come close to the ark [to pray], God gives me a musical voice and I pray before Him.

May the spirit of Rabbi Avraham Hayyim of Volozhin inspire all of our cantors and shlihey tzibburey to pray with Kavanah and piety.

David Golinkin
Jerusalem
16 Marheshavan 5770

 NOTES

1. Yom Tov Lipman Zunz, Hadrashot B'yisrael, Jerusalem, 1947, p. 220 and notes 110 and 111; Israel Davidson, Sefer Hasha'ashuim, Berlin, 1925, p. 48, note 1; Daniel Sperber, Minhagey Yisrael, Vol. 4, Jerusalem, 1995, Chapter 6.

2. For two more recent discussions, see A. J. Heschel, "The Task of the Hazzan", Conservative Judaism 12/2 (Winter 1958) pp. 1-8 = The Insecurity of Freedom, New York, 1959, pp. 242-253; Max Wohlberg, "Beiti Beit Tefillah", Conservative Judaism 13/3 (Spring 1959), pp. 31-32.











 

 

 

 

 


This Sunday at CNS! Rambam, Minyan, and a presentation by Rabbi Daniel Kohn

This Sunday at CNS! Rambam, Minyan,
and a presentation by Rabbi Daniel Kohn

 
9 - 9:30 AM - Rabbi Creditor will conduct  on Rambam's Hilchot Tefillah/Laws of Prayer.  Rambam (Maimonides) wrote "Laws of Jewish Prayer", a volume of his comprehensive Mishnah Torah so communities could study Jewish tradition together.  This preparation for the Minyan, will be based on the original text in the Hebrew with English translation.

9:30 AM - Shacharit minyan
 
Services will be followed by breakfast thanks to Art and Sheila Braufman to commemorate the yahrtzeit of Art's mother, Pauline Braufman, and at 10:30 AM:

Rabbi Daniel Kohn will discuss "Jewish FAQs: An Internet Rabbi's Answers to Frequently Asked Questions about Judaism".    Rabbi Kohn's recently published book with the above name is a selection of three hundred of the best, most intriguing, and informative questions that Rabbi Kohn answered over eight-years as an original volunteer for America Online's Ask a Rabbi. Rabbi Daniel Kohn has served as a congregational leader and professional Jewish educator on the East and West coasts. He has published numerous articles and books on Jewish education, spirituality, conversion, and classical Jewish texts. Currently, he is the rabbi in residence of the Contra Costa Jewish Day. A third-degree black belt  of Aikido and student of Tai Chi, Rabbi Kohn, a member of Netivot Shalom lives in Mill Valley with his wife and their three children.  Books will be available for purchase.  For more, go to http://www.jewfaqsbook.com. 

Nov 17, 2009

from the YU Commentator: "The Gay Question: Time for Modern Orthodoxy to Take Off the Blindfold"

Yeshiva University Student Publication
YU Commentator
- http://www.yucommentator.com/opinion/the-gay-question-1.855249

The Gay Question: Time for Modern Orthodoxy to Take Off the Blindfold
By Unknown
Published: Sunday, November 1, 2009

            The scientific mentality and socially liberal outlook of our times has tried the viability of many ancient religious doctrines.  In our Modern Orthodox community, we proudly (and hopefully modestly) maintain that our religious beliefs don't run counter to our rational tendencies.  Science enriches and adorns our religious lives.  Our halachic worldview is imbued with true morality.  Discrepancies between modern moral standards and the Torah's edicts are explainable, and don't truly oppose the moral backbone of contemporary society.  However, one pressing issue facing the modern world, one which has applied uncomfortable pressure to the Orthodox world, has been shamefully swept under the rug.  The moral and religious dilemma that this issue poses has not yet been dealt with in an adequate fashion.  That issue is homosexuality.

            The number of openly gay individuals in the secular community overwhelmingly outweighs the number of openly gay individuals in our Orthodox community.  If we assume that sexuality is not a matter of choice (the most accepted approach today) then we are confronted with an unsettling question: Is it really possible that the Orthodox world breeds fewer people wrought with the inner conflict of sexual identity?  Probably not.  It seems, rather, that Orthodox individuals grappling to balance their sexual desires, religious values, and social pressures are either forced into hidden lives of suffering or are driven from the derech of Orthodox life altogether in search of happiness elsewhere.  Of those who stay in the Orthodox fold, many fall into marriages racked with complications, while others remain single, living bitter lives of quiet desperation.  Of those who fall away from Orthodoxy, many are estranged from their families and friends, harboring a deep resentment for the Orthodox community's failure to help them and their loved ones with a painful issue.  Allowing such heartache to continue in our midst without open and honest discussion of this issue amongst rabbinical leaders and laymen is a failure to engage in the obligation of tikkun olam and a callous neglect of individual suffering.

            I have firsthand experience with the tribulation and confusion that mark the life of an Orthodox, gay individual.  I am a member of the Mazer Yeshiva Program in my first year in YU, and I am gay.  At age eleven I knew I was gay; it was a realization marked by the same innocence of a fifth grader who has a crush on a pretty girl in class. Since the age of fourteen, I have known that I would eventually have to face unpleasant truths in dealing with my supposedly divergent identities.  I am comfortable with myself, but uncertain of the best way to tackle the next few years of my life.  I have no long-term plan.

            It is a constant struggle to determine what the Creator wants from me.  Do I remain in the closet and single for the rest of my life?  That doesn't sit well with me.  Should I come out and remain single? Should I look for a relationship with a guy with whom I will have no physical contact?  Is that possible?  Will I someday unceremoniously collapse from the pressure and end up not frum but in a fulfilling relationship?  These questions race through my mind in a perpetual cycle every day of my life.  The thought of telling my family that I am gay – and probably incapable of getting married and having children – is one that douses me with waves of paralyzing fear.  How does anyone bring heartbreak to unsuspecting loved ones ill-equipped to cope with the issue at hand?  How does a family cope with the homosexuality of a loved one in a community where the issue is stigmatized and worthy only of hushed, whispered discussions?  My situation is not unique.  The questions I confront and the distress my family would face if I let them in on my secret are only the beginning of the struggle for all Orthodox, gay individuals.

            Ultimately, I am not just writing to raise awareness and lambaste our collective treatment of the issue.  I am writing with a rough proposal.  Last year, a heart-wrenching testimony was published anonymously in Kol Hamevaser (II:4) by another gay Yeshiva University student.  The author highlighted both the existence of gays in the Orthodox world, and the inconspicuous nature of their presence amongst the most frum crowds.  He thought that marriage was the most preferable, though seemingly evasive, solution to his problem.  Although I salute his strength and conviction, and firmly align myself with his call to awaken others to our existence, I disagree with several facets of his approach.  First, the option of marriage for a gay individual is one which demands wary and cautious endorsement.  I am cynical about the possibility for success in a heterosexual marriage tainted by homosexual tendencies.  The fact that the Orthodox community has historically adopted this approach is problematic.  Do we really want to encourage people to enter sexually dysfunctional marriages? Second, I think that the author failed to pressure the Orthodox community to take concrete action in addressing the needs of all individuals faced with the challenge of being gay.

             I want to suggest a few baby steps we can take towards helping people like me.  The first step we must take towards helping gay men and women in our communities is waking up our leaders.  The time has come for our rabbinic leadership to realize that gays are as common in the Jewish community as they are in the secular community.  If the rabbinic leadership shuts their eyes and ears, they will not make gays disappear.  They will not make me disappear.  It is an immature and destructive way to deal with a real problem.  I urge the rebbeim of Yeshiva University and other rabbinic leaders to recognize our existence, and to take a proactive role in organizing open discussion of the issue of homosexuality.  The attitude of cavalier indifference must come to an end in our community.

             This will pave the way for the second, and most important, step I am proposing.  We need to eliminate the stigma.  In the secular world, interacting with gays and discussing gay issues has become mainstream.  I think we need to follow that example.  That is not to suggest that we need to accept or embrace homosexual behavior.  But we need to cultivate an atmosphere of acceptance and open discussion.  If we sincerely work towards this objective, we will create an environment where those confronted with this issue will feel comfortable expressing themselves.  Then, we can weave support networks focused on finding comfortable solutions for affected individuals and families.  This would be following the model that we embrace for all other communal problems.
         
            The last suggestion I want to make is the creation of a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) on campus.  I am, admittedly, a bit skeptical about this last suggestion, but I am curious of the results.  GSAs are prevalent on campuses across the country.  They are not only found on college campuses, but in high schools and middle schools as well.  They promote the comfort of gay members of the school and nurture a sensitive, accepting environment.  GSAs also create a forum for discussion of gay issues and concerns.  The beauty of a GSA is that it can be started by a straight activist.  In fact, all the members can be straight.  On our campus, in particular, if someone had the guts to start one, and many people joined it, gays would feel comfortable joining under the veil of being straight.  A GSA could become the mainspring in provoking progress on our treatment of homosexuality.

            Hopefully, I have drawn some ears and prodded some hearts in Yeshiva University and the Modern Orthodox community at large.  Properly dealing with homosexuality in our community will accomplish more than meets the eye.  We would be performing a tremendous act of chessed for countless suffering individuals, both in the present and in the future. We would decrease the number of gay individuals that fall away from Orthodox life because they don't see futures for themselves in our communities.  We will alleviate the pain of families who have nowhere to turn in dealing with homosexuality.  And, finally, we would be true to our own Modern Orthodox values.  By honestly approaching the realities we are confronted with and finding ways for our divinely dictated halachic system to solve the issues at hand, we defend the integrity of our religious beliefs.  Through an honest and intensive search for the best solution to the gay question we can end a dishonorable period of apathy, and infuse Torah life with fresh credibility and esteem.

            The anonymous author of this article can be reached with questions, comments, or concerns at: yuopinionarticle@gmail.com.

 

Comments

4 comments
J Shrek
Mon Nov 16 2009 16:39
Thank you for expressing your views.
Even though you did not sign your post, I believe that writing this opinion piece was an act of bravery on your part, and I salute the Commentator for running it.

I am not a posek by any means, but perhaps you can more easily get the ball rolling in the Modern Orthodox community by examining lesbianism, which because of halacha does not have the same stigma that man-on-man homosexuality does. Perhaps a gay-straight alliance might include women from Stern. I realize it may not be of immediate help to you, but lesbianism may be a successful wedge issue. Unfortunately, there are those nagging shidduch issues that might prevent certain straight men and women who are tolerant in this area from getting publicly involved.

Erez Harari
Tue Nov 10 2009 20:34
I just want to commend the author of the article for such a well-written and thoughtful approach to the issue of homosexuality in YU specifically, and the Orthodox community in general. I especially appreciated that the author not only discussed his personal struggle, but also proactively proposed potential solutions. I know personally that the way that orthodox leaders are dealing with the issue of homosexuality at the moment is not only leading many gay people to go off the derech, but forcing straight people to reevaluate and question their faith in Orthodox Judaism as well.

I would also be happy to discuss this further with the author or anyone else interested: gwbridgeguy@gmail.com

While I do think that we are still far from creating a GSA in YU, I completely agree with the author's first two suggestions. You are definitely not alone in thinking that leaders need to take this issue on as their own, and that the stigma needs to be combated on a communal level. However, we can't just expect this to happen on its own. Unfortunately change usually only happens when people are willing to take the courageous step of standing up for themselves and being accounted for. Challenging people is an essential precursor for change, even when it involves negative consequences to the individual, such as being stigmatized and ostracized. In the words of Hillel: "if i am not for myself, who will be for me?"

This article was a courageous first step, but i would challenge you to muster up the courage and inner strength that it is so obvious you possess to go even further in trying to meet your above stated goals and begin challenging peoples perceptions of what it means to be a frum gay Jew. You would not be alone there, JQYouth (www.jqyouth.org) offers support and a social network for frum gay Jews because no one should feel isolated and alone when dealing with this issue. In addition, some JQY members have also took it upon themselves as individuals to reach out to community leaders and tell their stories and discuss their struggles in a way that is sensitive and respectful to the halachic issues involved in order to meet those same goals you've mentioned. Its amazing the difference it makes when Rabbeim are able to put a face to a struggle...

That being said, the publication of this article in the commentator is an indication of the enormous amount of progress that has already been made in this area. I am certain that your eloquence, intelligence, and thoughtfulness will help increase peoples sensitivity even further in the future when you are ready to discuss your experience with them in person...

YUguy NYC
Thu Nov 5 2009 03:43
you write eloquently and the points you made are exactly what i feel need to be publicized in our community. i went to yu several years ago, and i'm sorry that i missed being there while people have finally begun to talk about this topic and treat it sensitively and rationally. but even though im not there, im extremely happy to be around to see this discussion begin. we just have to make sure that more and more people talk about it and become aware of it. im very proud of you and last year's article author for writing and publishing your articles. i regret not having written a similar article when i was in yu.
please feel free to get in touch with me to talk more about this topic (this is directed to the author as well as anyone else who is interested).
YUguyNYC@gmail.com
Aaron Steinberg
Mon Nov 2 2009 08:32
Yashar Koach. This was a well written article that needed to be shared with our community.

You are asking for reasonable steps to be taken by the Orthodox community, and I hope that there is a positive response in the near future.

The denial and subsequent exclusion of Orthodox Gay Jews is one of the biggest social problems in our Modern Orthodox community, and we need to solve this problem soon.

-Aaron Steinberg

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Rabbi Menachem Creditor
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Nov 16, 2009

Last Chance to register for: Discover Judaism! Jewish Holidays with Rabbi Shalom Bochner

Discover Judaism: Jewish Holidays
With Rabbi Shalom Bochner

The rhythm of a Jewish year is based on the cycle of Holidays.  And while Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur are the days where more people might attend a synagogue, there are many calendar-based moments for Jewish connection that evoke joy, memory, celebration, sadness, commemoration, and pride.  Each session in this series will focus on a different "type" of Jewish Holiday, including those based in the Torah, and those that have emerged since. No Hebrew is required for this class.

Dates:   Tuesdays, Nov. 17, 24; Dec. 1, 8, 15
Time:    7:30 to 9pm
Place:   Netivot Shalom, 1316 University Ave., Berkeley
Class fee: $50-$75 — (sliding scale, no one turned away for lack of funds)
For more information or to enroll call Netivot Shalom at 510-549-9447

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Rabbi Menachem Creditor
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Nov 15, 2009

HEKHSHER TZEDEK COMMISSION Statement on Rubashkin Conviction

STATEMENT FROM THE HEKHSHER TZEDEK COMMISSION

REGARDING THE CONVICTION OF SHOLOM RUBASHKIN


New York, NY (November 13, 2009) -- The news out of Sioux Falls, SD, yesterday, that Sholom Rubashkin was convicted on 86 out of 91 counts of fraud in the federal investigation into criminal activity within the Agriprocessor's meat processing facility in Postville, Iowa, delivers both justice and a heavy heart to those of us who champion the cause of ethical kashrut.

 

The investigation into Agriprocessors has unfolded in slow-motion. First there were allegations of business fraud and worker abuse, then investigations, then negotiations – all with ample opportunity for the Rubashkin family to cooperate and self-correct -- then arrogant disregard for the law, shocking revelations, indictments, a plethora of press attention, the riveting scandal of the federal raid in May of 2008, the largest scale of its kind in US history...and finally the verdict of guilty on the majority of counts of business fraud in yesterday's trial.

 

It is important to note that the trial on charges of worker abuse is not even underway. The heartbreaking stories that will emerge in the course of this trial will be as cringe-worthy as they are criminal.

 

As the founders of Magen Tzedek, we were on the ground in Postville from the virtual start of this tragic drama in the summer of 2006, bearing witness to the terrible worker conditions and business practices at the nation's largest manufacturer of kosher meat and poultry, trying to steer the Rubashkin family towards taking responsibility and correcting their mistakes, acting in accordance with the biblical injunction – "hokhaih tokhiah et amitekha" – "rebuke your kinsman," that is, do not stand idly by while one of your brethren commits a grievous wrongdoing.

 

Although the miscarriage of kashrut at Agriprocessors was not the catalyst for the creation of Magen Tzedek, it provided an urgent context and need for us to develop our initiative, proclaiming publicly our belief that keeping kosher is inextricably linked to leading a life of ethical integrity.

 

There are tragedies within tragedies in the story of the fall of the house of Rubashkin, the worst of which might be the deaf ear of the Rubashkin family turned towards those who tried to prevent the collapse. We were at the epicenter of those who repeatedly reached out to the family. Yet as the investigation and trial wore on, it became clear that the deafness was a direct result of the Rubashkin family's flagrant disregard for the law and ethical behavior.

 

There is neither joy nor a sense of schadenfreude in yesterday's conviction. Those of us who toil in the field of tikkun olam are downright demoralized by this highly preventable outcome. This story could have ended very differently. Had the Rubashkin family done a sincere teshuvah – heeding, for instance, the three-pronged course of action we delivered to them in the summer of 2006 -- they would now be the heroes of the kosher world instead of its villains.

 

Given the sad outcome of this situation, we rededicate ourselves to the birthing of our Magen Tzedek seal of ethical certification, a process that has been long and arduous but more relevant with each passing day.

After thousands of hours of meetings, deliberations, drafts of our working guidelines and compliance procedures, we are getting closer. The soul and future of kashrut depends on the development of Magen Tzedek as an actual seal on kosher food products, indicating that it has been produced in accordance with high ethical standards for employee wages and benefits, health and safety, animal welfare, corporate transparency and environmental impact. What has emerged in the course of the development of this product is that Magen Tzedek is more than just a new certification for kosher food -- it is a worldwide awareness built upon the belief that we are how and what we eat.

Achieving Magen Tzedek is our ascent to Sinai, fraught with challenge and yet possessed of a promise. Like the Law that Moses receives at the summit of the mountain, Magen Tzedek will give Jews and all people of conscience a road map towards leading lives of ethical integrity through the portal of keeping kosher.

 

 

The Hekhsher Tzedek Commission

Rabbi Morris J. Allen, Project Director

a Bracha for turning off cell phone and cameras


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